Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a disaster can mean the difference between life and death. Here are some tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:

• Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to the plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and saying, "I told you so."
• To minimize loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.
• Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of time.
• Look out your window often. If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, step either to the right or the left.
• A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep, and work in doorways.
• Be sure to mail your house-insurance payments a full five business days before a major earthquake strikes.
• If you are caught in a major earthquake in Southern California and are part of the entertainment industry, take a moment or two to reflect on how grossly you've wasted your life.
• For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a majority of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not come from the tremors themselves. Instead, it was from the raging, out-of-control fires that consumed most of the city.