| Q: | What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? |
| A: | A tick falls off of you when you die. |
| Q: | What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? |
| A: | Not enough sand. |
| Q: | What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? |
| A: | A Doberman. |
| Q: | Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? |
| A: | If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever. |
| Q: | Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? |
| A: | They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. |
| Q: | What is the lawyer's creed? |
| A: | A man is innocent until proven broke. |