A lonely, elderly widower loves his cat so dearly that he tries to teach it to talk. "If I can get Tabby to talk with me," he says to himself, "I won't have to bother with ornery human beings at all."

First, the man tries feeding the cat a diet of canned salmon, then a live canary. Tabby obviously loves both, but still won't speak. The widower pursues the project for years, continuing to tempt Tabby with delicacies to no avail.

Then, one day, wonder of wonders, the cat suddenly turns to her master and shouts, "Look out!"

Shocked, the widower freezes. He doesn't move a muscle.

Immediately, the ceiling caves in and buries the poor man, but Tabby survives by jumping out of the way.

The cat shakes her head in disgust: "Eight years he spends getting me to talk, and then the idiot doesn't listen."