Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator :	Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza. May I have your national ID number?
Customer :	Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator :	I must have your NIDN first, sir?
:
Operator :	Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net Which number are you calling from, sir?
Customer :	Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?
Operator :	We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer :	The HSS, what is that?
Operator :	We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer :	[Sighs] Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator :	I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer :	Whaddya mean?
Operator :	Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer :	What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator :	You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer :	What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator :	Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer :	All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator :	That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer :	Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator :	I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer :	I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator :	That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also.
Customer :	Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator :	We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer :	Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator :	It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer :	Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator :	I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer :	(Speechless)
Operator :	Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer :	Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
Operator :	I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza!"