I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, all the less important ones just never go away, and the real pains-in-the-butt are permanent.